Surviving and Thriving in My Journey as a Single Mom

My Journey as a Single Parent

“Being in love,” “creating a life together,” and “raising children,” keeping all in control is not a simple task. It takes time and a certain amount of maturity to reach the balance. If love is measured by how much effort you are willing to give, what’s the magic formula? Maintaining everything in check is not an easy matter, and there is no perfect way to make it happen. 

All marriages have their ups and downs; they are all different. Being a single parent is a journey of accepting a failing marriage, detaching from a committed long-term relationship, and creating your own new life.

Self-acceptance 

Either you are learning to make personal sacrifices and make your spouse feel appreciated and valued, or on the journey of learning how to self-care and love yourself more. Marriage is a process of towards each other, growth, and maturity. Sometimes going their separate ways is the best outcome. 

Becoming a single parent can bring up strong emotions, like relief, excitement, anger, fear, and grief. The journey of a single parent is a process of coming to realize it is better to go on their separate ways, followed by healing and then reconstructing the support system. 

Redefine a “Perfect Family”

My definition of a perfect family was often bound to the idea of keeping everyone together and values in line; I committed all my efforts to managing this “small community” I had created. Whether it was the right or wrong ways, every marriage has challenges, but the belief behind “keep trying” and “keep fixing” was becoming too heavy to handle. A perfect family should not be formed by a miserable couple and two (most likely confused) children. 

The journey as a single parent allows us to find ourselves again, a new chance to redefine “parenthood” and enjoy the process in a new state of mind. Demolished what I have believed traditionally. Creates a positive and healthy support system. Continue to love the children the way you are. This is also a form of “perfect family.”

Learn to Respond, Not React

The reaction is an emotional decision made without considering the consequences. While Response is the conscious effort to take a step back to review the situation. It allows the individual to rationalize the issue with a problem-solving attitude. 

Quick reactions usually come from anxiety, stress, and anger; these negative feelings often get the best of me. In my single-parent journey, I learned to self-reflect and saw through what happened after putting emotions aside. Perhaps if I could wait a bit before reacting, the situation could be different? Your life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. 

Respectfully Disagree!

Make more of an effort to find the respectfulness within the disagreement. Anger often gets the best of most people. When couples argue, both sides speak emotionally in high tones, creating increased tension and a toxic environment for the family. As time grew, we lost interest in finding a healthier and more effective way of communication. 

Being a mother makes you grow. Being a single mother makes you strong. It is a process of learning. There were words that I wish were never put out before. Being a single parent is also a journey of realigning what kind of person I would like to be, giving myself a chance to reconnect, apologize and move on.

Related article: How to Deal with a Difficult Ex-Spouse

Create quality time

The world moves around at a tremendously fast pace. We are busy with work, social networks, media, friends, and family. There’s no time and energy to date after a long day at work, looking at phones or tablets during the time together, or lack of interest in creating quality time together. The journey of being a single parent, especially the life in Spain, has taught me to make quality time, be present and learn how important it is to put the phone away during precious time together.

Related article: Dating After Divorce with Kids: Balancing Love and Parenting

My Journey as a Single Mom

How Did I Cope With Stress as a Single Parent?

Starting a new single-parent life is challenging. It is common to find disagreement between father and mother, and the financial challenges of single parenting can lead to debt and late payments. Long working hours do not allow you to spend quality time with children. 

Stress and long-term sleep deprivation are common issues for many single parents. There are a few ways to help you improve your overall well-being in the stressful moments:

‣ Yoga

A 90-minute yoga practice with yourself can improve mental and physical strength, balance, and flexibility. Yoga is a form of exercise that includes stretching, breathing, relaxation, and meditation, it has proven to positively affect people with mental health conditions, such as reducing anxiety. Practice yoga 2 to 3 times a week. 

‣ Meditation

5 to 20 minutes of meditation in the morning or before sleep can make you feel more relaxed. Begin your day with a calm and focused mind that can set the right tone for the rest of the day.  

Practicing mindfulness can release emotions that may have been causing the stress. Use 10 minutes of meditation to center yourself; you will be in a better place when the challenges and opportunities arrive. 

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‣ Breathing Exercise

When there is a time of disagreement in the marriage or facing challenges, breathing is an easy way to calm my body and reduce anger. The slow and deep breathing shifts my focus away from the “drama,” allowing me to recenter again. 

One of the breathing exercises I practice regularly is sitting in a quiet and comfortable place, closing my eyes, and shoulder relaxing. Slowly breathe in through the nose, breathe out through the mouth. Repeat this process at least 10 times or until the feeling of anxiety decreases. 

Related article: The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Single Parenthood

‣ Eating Mindfully

Embracing mindful eating became my anchor amidst the storm of single parenthood. With intention and awareness, I transformed my relationship with food, recognizing its power not only to nourish my body but also to soothe my soul. I cultivated a deeper connection to the foods I consumed, savoring each bite as a moment of gratitude and self-care.

Choosing whole, nutritious foods became a form of self-love, providing me with the energy and vitality needed to tackle the demands of each day. Through mindful eating, I discovered a profound sense of empowerment, realizing that I possessed the ability to nourish myself from within, even amidst life’s chaos. This practice became more than just a means of sustenance; it became a source of strength, resilience, and inner peace in the face of adversity.

Related article: Mindful Eating: The Secret to a Delicious & Healthy Meal

‣ Time and Energy Management

Navigating the delicate balance between time and energy management has been a critical aspect of my journey as a single mom. Juggling multiple responsibilities and tasks, I’ve come to recognize the importance of prioritizing where to invest my finite resources. Through the crucible of burnout, I learned firsthand the consequences of spreading myself too thin.

Now, I approach each day with a keen awareness of where to allocate my time and energy, focusing on tasks that align with my priorities and values. I’ve honed the art of saying no to commitments that drain me and yes to opportunities that energize and fulfill me. By mastering the delicate dance of time and energy management, I’ve reclaimed control over my life, ensuring that I have the stamina and resilience to thrive, both as a single parent and as an individual pursuing her dreams.

‣ Embracing Emotional Resilience

As a single mother, the daily juggling act of managing two children simultaneously is both a challenge and a privilege. While I strive to be the best parent I can be, I’ve come to accept that perfection is an unattainable ideal. Instead, I focus on providing my children with love, stability, and support to the best of my ability. Moreover, navigating the complexities of co-parenting with an ex-spouse adds an additional layer of emotional strain.

In the face of such challenges, I’ve learned the invaluable importance of emotional management. I’ve cultivated patience, resilience, and empathy as tools to navigate the highs and lows of parenthood and interpersonal dynamics. By prioritizing my emotional well-being, I can better navigate the inevitable twists and turns of single motherhood with grace and strength.

‣ Walking into Clarity

Walking isn’t just about moving from one place to another for me—it’s a chance to connect with myself. As a single mom, life can get pretty hectic, so these walks have become my special time for deep thinking and chatting with myself. With each step, I uncover new thoughts and feelings that I might not notice otherwise.

Whether I’m strolling through a busy park or a quiet forest path, I feel like I’m in my own little bubble of peace and calm. Breathing in the fresh air, I feel rejuvenated and ready to take on whatever comes my way. These walks are my sanctuary, where I find the strength and clarity to tackle life’s challenges head-on. Regularly dedicating this time to create a relationship with myself has become an essential part of my self-care routine, allowing me to nurture my inner well-being and cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness.

Related article: Unlocking Serenity: The Impact of Park Walks on Your Well-being

‣ Confronting Pain and Finding Strength

After the divorce, I’ve learned the crucial necessity of confronting and working through my pain. Leaving a marriage or confronting childhood trauma are monumental challenges, ones that can easily become stumbling blocks in the journey forward. However, I refuse to let these experiences define me or dictate my future. Instead, I carve out time to delve into the depths of my pain, acknowledging its presence and allowing myself to feel and process it fully.

Through therapy, coaching, journaling, meditation, self-reflection, and introspection, I’ve embarked on a journey of healing and self-discovery. While the path is often fraught with obstacles and discomfort, I’ve come to understand that true growth and transformation arise from facing our pain head-on. By embracing this process, I’ve unearthed newfound strength, resilience, and a profound sense of self-awareness, empowering me to navigate life’s challenges with courage and authenticity.

Related article: Gratitude Journal for Single Parents

Cultivating a Supportive Circle

Taking time to declutter my relationships has become a crucial aspect of my self-care journey. As a single mom, I recognize the profound impact that the people and projects surrounding me can have on my well-being. I’ve learned to prioritize relationships that uplift and support me, while gently letting go of those that no longer serve my growth.

Surrounding myself with positive influences has helped me maintain a sense of balance and perspective amidst life’s challenges. By curating a nurturing environment both internally and externally, I’ve created a space where I can thrive and continue to evolve on my journey of self-discovery.

‣ CBD Wellness

A friend recommended CBD while I was going through severe anxiety and suggested it could be an effective organic remedy to reduce my stress. Since then, I have tried many CBD products such as hemp, CBD gummies, CBD softgels, and CBD tinctures. Before trying CBD, I often felt tired throughout the day and could not think clearly. CBD products have brought my focus back during the day and quality sleep at night. 

Before incorporating CBD into your routine, especially if you’re uncertain about its compatibility with your health conditions or current medications, it’s advisable to seek guidance from a healthcare professional.

Related articles: CBD wellness

The Evolution of Nanani World: From Website to Book, and Venturing Forth as a Life Coach

Nanani World began as a humble blog, a sanctuary where I embarked on the deeply personal odyssey of single parenthood as a writer. My mission was clear: to heal, to share my journey, and to extend a compassionate hand to those walking a similar path. I believed that if my words could offer solace to even one soul, then my purpose would be fulfilled. This blog became my canvas for crafting a life rich with meaning, one that uplifts and empowers the single-parent community.

In the evolution of Venturing Forth, a book emerged as a powerful companion to Nanani World. Its purpose? To reach out to those who, like me, faced trials in solitude. Through my own struggles, I realized many suffer in silence until life demands a reckoning. It was during my darkest moments that I yearned for guidance – a beacon like the book I now offer to the world. I believe this narrative can be the guiding light for others to find their way forward.

Within the pages of Venturing Forth, I chose to weave my narrative as a memoir intentionally. I wanted readers to not just read my story but to experience it alongside me. Through the rawness of the memoir, I aimed to demystify fear and uncertainty, showing that the path ahead is filled with beauty and growth. This journey empowered me to not just live my story but to become the author of my own life narrative.

Today, I proudly stand as a certified life coach, committed not only to penning words of encouragement on my blog or offering a beacon of hope through my book but also to actively guiding individuals toward the lives they desire. Nanani World has transcended its origins as a mere writing journal; it has blossomed into a vision of constructing the most resilient network for the parent community. Through my life coaching program, I aim to empower others to navigate their own journeys with strength and purpose, fostering a community of support and resilience along the way.

Venturing Forth navigating middle age after divorce 2023

Venturing Forth: A Memoir of Resilience and Transformation. Join Hsin Chen on her inspiring journey to overcome adversity, including COVID, mental health challenges, parenting doubts, and post-divorce dating. Discover the power of positivity and mindfulness in finding serenity within life’s chaos.

For more information, click HERE

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