The Superpower of Being Present
Yesterday, I was out on a playdate with my daughters and their friends. While the kids played, I was chit-chatting with their moms. To give you some context, my daughters’ closest friends come from wonderfully diverse backgrounds: one from a Swedish family, another from a Russian family, one from an American-Ukrainian family, and, of course, my daughters, who are Brazilian-Spanish-Taiwanese. It’s a beautiful, multicultural mix. As an introvert, I often feel awkward in large group settings, but over the years we’ve spent several quality moments together, which has helped me shed my introvertedness significantly. Despite our diverse origins, we all share something in common: we’re expats navigating life in Spain, building a new life for our multicultural families.
The Swedish mom—let’s call her Lucy for privacy—really stood out to me that day. Lucy is a full-time working mom, and every time I see her, she seems so effortlessly “put together.” She’s always stylish, but not overly so, just polished enough that you can’t help but notice how organized and composed she seems. Her makeup is subtle, her intelligence obvious, and she exudes the kind of energy that makes you think, “Wow, I want to be that pulled together.”
During our conversation, Lucy mentioned how overwhelming her work has been lately, but then she shared something that truly stuck with me: her superpower. She said, “I have a superpower—when I’m with my kids, I’m fully present. I don’t think about work or anything outside of that moment. And when I’m at work, I’m so focused that I sometimes forget about my kids!” She laughed, but I was struck by the truth in her words.
I work closely with mothers who are having difficulties finding balance. One of the most common challenges I see is the difficulty in staying present. Many of them are caught in a cycle of worrying about the future or dwelling on past regrets. Thoughts like, “I’m feeling so drained by my marriage; what if XYZ happens if I change my current situation?” or “I wish I had spent more time doing XYZ when they were younger” constantly cloud their minds. Others might find themselves scrolling through their phones while their children are playing, missing out on precious moments instead of engaging with them. This makes it hard for them to fully experience and enjoy the present moment.
What Lucy described felt like a superpower—the ability to be completely in the moment, whether with your children or at work, is something many of us long for yet struggle to achieve. Lucy continued, saying, “I have another superpower too—I can fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow.” Oh, how I envy that! I told her that maybe it’s because she’s so focused and present throughout the day, her body and mind are perfectly aligned. When it’s time for bed, her brain just knows it’s time to switch off. It’s a habit that many of us dream of cultivating—effortless rest after a day well lived.
This conversation made me think more deeply about the power of staying present. We often hear people talk about “being present,” but what does that really mean? Why is it important, and how can we actually do it?
What Does it Mean to Be Present?
Being present means being fully engaged in the moment you’re in—mentally, emotionally, and physically. It’s about focusing your attention on what’s happening right now, rather than letting your mind wander to the past or future. In today’s fast-paced world, where we’re constantly juggling responsibilities and distractions, being present is no small feat.
In Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn, she interviews actor Greg Wise about his experience as a full-time carer for his sister Clare, who passed away from cancer in 2016. While the interview centers around love and the deep connection between siblings, Greg shares a profound lesson he learned during that time. He reflects on how, in those final moments with his sister, the only thing that mattered was being present. He said that as her carer, he understood that all he could do was be there—because there was nothing else to do. That required an intense focus and a calmness, as every moment with her became precious.
While this is an extreme case, it holds an essential lesson for all of us. We don’t want to wait for an ultimatum—a life-or-death situation—to realize how valuable the present moment is. Greg’s story reminds us that being present isn’t just a skill to develop; it’s a gift to ourselves and those we love. It’s about not missing the moments that matter most, long before we’re forced to face their fleeting nature.
Why Is Being Present a Superpower?
When you’re truly present, you give your full energy and attention to whatever you’re doing—whether it’s spending quality time with your children, focusing on work, or enjoying a quiet moment for yourself. Being present allows you to create deeper connections with the people around you and to fully experience life. It’s like turning off autopilot and actually living in the moment, rather than just passing through it.
For Lucy, her ability to be present helps her balance her roles as a mother and a professional. She certainly faces challenges—like all of us—but she’s mastered the art of compartmentalizing her time and energy. When she’s at work, she’s 100% focused on her tasks, and when she’s with her children, she’s fully engaged with them. It’s not about perfection but about giving each part of her life her full attention when it matters most.
Being fully present with your children is a powerful expression of love. Love is in the act itself—whether it’s noticing the little things, truly listening, or simply “being” with them. All of these actions require more than just your physical presence. They demand your mental and emotional presence as well. When you give your children your undivided attention, you show them they matter.
I was recently invited to a podcast interview by Michelle Multack—host of one of the top podcast channels for single parents—to talk about balancing dating as a single parent. One question that came up was, “How do you balance it all?” In the interview, I spoke about the concept of counterbalancing your time and energy. There’s no such thing as perfect balance at all times. When you put 100% of your focus on one area of your life—like Lucy does with work—it’s natural for other areas, such as parenting, to temporarily take a backseat. But the key is knowing how to shift your focus when needed.
For example, in my own life, I know I can’t go on dates three times a week with my current schedule as a single parent. I trust that my children are in good hands, and I make sure that when I do go out, whether for a date or socializing, I’m fully present. I put my phone away and focus on the person I’m with. Both of us deserve that undivided attention, just like my children do when I’m with them.
The same principle applies to work. When you’re fully present and focused on your tasks, you often accomplish more in less time and with higher quality. Compare that to the alternative: juggling multiple browser tabs, background music, and getting up to grab snacks five times in an hour—your attention is scattered, and as a result, so is your productivity. Being intentional about focusing solely on the task at hand can lead to faster, more efficient work and greater satisfaction in what you accomplish. It’s about working smarter, not just harder, by channeling all your energy into the present moment.
How Can We Cultivate Presence?
Staying present is a skill, and like any skill, it requires practice. In the article The Power of Time and Energy Management, I talked about how mastering this skill can lead not only to increased productivity but also to stronger, more meaningful relationships with the people you care about. Here are some practices to help cultivate presence:
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Mindful Breathing: Taking a few deep breaths can help anchor you in the moment. It’s a simple but powerful way to reset your mind and bring yourself back to the present.
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Set Boundaries with Technology: Our phones and devices are constant sources of distraction. Try setting limits on when and how often you check your phone, especially during moments that matter, like family time or work tasks.
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Single-tasking: Multitasking can make it harder to stay present. When you focus on one task at a time, you give it your full attention, which improves the quality of your work.
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Practice Gratitude: Focusing on what you’re thankful for in the present moment can shift your mind away from future worries or past regrets, allowing you to appreciate what’s happening right now.
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Accept Imperfection: Staying present doesn’t mean everything has to be perfect. Sometimes, being fully engaged in the moment means accepting that things are messy or challenging, but still choosing to be there.
These practices can help you cultivate a greater sense of presence in your daily life. Read the full article here.
The Gift of Presence
Lucy’s “superpower” is something we can all strive to develop. When you’re able to be fully present in whatever you’re doing, you not only enhance the quality of your own life, but you also create more meaningful connections with the people around you. In a world full of distractions, being present truly is a superpower—and like any superpower, it’s within reach if we make the effort to cultivate it.
So, the next time you find yourself overwhelmed by the chaos of life, remember that the most powerful thing you can do is to be present—right here, right now.
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
has inspired over 16 million readers worldwide and has been translated into more than 30 languages. In this transformative book, Eckhart Tolle guides readers on a spiritual journey to uncover their true selves and achieve profound personal growth. He explores the concept of enlightenment, highlighting how the mind can be a barrier to living fully in the present. By recognizing their role in creating suffering, readers learn to embrace the now and connect with the eternal essence of their being, ultimately discovering the path to true enlightenment and freedom.
